Thursday 29 September 2011

Fast Wednesday: Stick and Carrot Technique

Roger '4 Minute' Bannister
Room 101, the hate half hour or the running interval session as it has come to be known. Five kilometres in half an hour three of which are done in the style of a fat Robert Bannister all sweating, heaving and eye-popping.

I casually say to my running partner Douglas,"I did six of these last week. Let's go for eight this week." By the time we've completed one interval I make the executive decision that six will be more than adequate.

The Route on Glasgow Green

For this weeks painful experiment we chose Glasgow Green. At first glance Glasgow green appears to be flat. Let it be known to anyone attempting an interval session, unless you are running on a bowling green nowhere, I repeat, nowhere is flat. The slightest gradient becomes the north face of the Eiger and even flat surfaces begin to take on hill like properties. 


The Charts. NB: 3rd interval nearly killed us!

On the charts 'Fast Wednesday' you can see that our attempt at jogging between intervals didn't last long. I hold myself fully responsible for that second executive decision. We did stick to our guns on one of missions. In fact we excelled ourselves in the final part of the exercise routine which was to Jog in a westerly direction for the full 5k then walk in a north easterly direction towards West Brewery and replace all the carbs that we'd just burned off. This we did in the form of a pint of their finest Hefeweizen which lasted all of two minutes and had to be chased with a further pint of St Mungo's. We did get some funny looks. The pair of us sweating profusely in our running gear pushing through the crowded bar carrying huge pints of beer. With that reward I am actually looking forward to next weeks half hour of suffering.

Mmm... beer in the sun.

Tuesday 27 September 2011

Lost in the Dark

There are some things that you don't always take into account. One of the more obvious ones would be daylight. Douglas and I found ourselves somewhere between the canal and the Botanics running through the tunnels and under trees in total darkness. Knees up, arms outstreched and ears tuned to the faintest crack of twig lest we be set upon by a gang of ruffians.
Somehow we managed to navigate our way out onto what we thought was Queen Margaret Drive only to find ourselves at that weird shop on the corner of Kirklee Road and Great Western Road.
 Excuses, excuses... had we not been benighted along the canal I think we might have turned in a fairly good distance in the allotted 1 hour 20 minutes which would have saved us the mile and change walk home.
3rd Sunday Long Run

3rd Sunday Long Run

Saturday 24 September 2011

Saturday Morning Run

Never ever would I have imagined myself running along the Clyde footpath before 9am unless I'd been at a party the night before and was being chased home by some over zealous neighbourhood watch nazi. Nevertheless I found myself chasing Richard down to Glasgow Green and up river towards Rutherglen. Not a bad morning for it either and watching the racing skiff crews being shouted at by grey haired men on bikes kept my mind off my aching legs.


Pretty pleased with the 10k time here. I've knocked another two minutes off my personal best.


Friday 23 September 2011

Jedburgh Half Marathon: The Reason Why

So here was yesterday's attempt at killing Peter Currie. You can see the points where we came close.

Thought it might be worth publishing photos of the reason I'm doing this. So here it is... The 70's swallow tail single fin. It's probably about the same age as me and in marginally better shape.



Wednesday 21 September 2011

Half Marathon Training: 2nd Fast Session

This is fast (excuse the pun) becoming the worst part of the training. It basically involves me running like fuck round Alexandra park trying to avoid spewing or shitting myself.

Here's the charts.

I was stretching at 10 minutes and tying my shoelaces at 13... honest.



To add insult to injury I followed that run by attempting my press ups for the day. Reset the program to day one and at four press ups. More on this over the next few days.

Gym induction today which was just like all gym inductions. Getting patronised by a spotty youth who is clearly fitter than me but can't bear to let me leave the building without prooving it. A gym induction should go like this...

SPOTTY YOUTH: Do you know how to use all the stuff in the gym.
ME: Yes. This is my fifth gym induction.
SPOTTY YOUTH: Goodbye.

You'll notice in this version there are no parting shots like "Come again" or "Have you considered Spin classes" What actually happens is...

SPOTTY YOUTH: Do you know how to use the equipment. Don't answer fatty. I'm going to show you anyway. What do you work as?

ME: I photocopy rats for Glasgow City Council. It keeps me and the rats busy.

SPOTTY YOUTH: [on automatic pilot ignoring reply] Oh how exciting. Is that why you're fat? Don't answer. Use this machine. Smile you fat fuck. Let me show you how it's done properly. You'll never be like me. Does it hurt? I hope so you fat fuck. I hope so.

ME: I'm fine. It's just that I've run here from a meeting and haven't had a chance to warm up. [but wanting to say. 'What with the explosion of rats in the city centre these days I'm tired out from photocopying them for the council']

[Insert montage of me using every resistance and weight machine in the gym to the soundtrack of a choir wailing and cows being slaughtered]

SPOTTY YOUTH: We'll you lazy fat fuck that's the end of your gym induction. If you really want to loose weight become anorexic, get marooned on a desert island or get a gastric band. Don't ever come in here again. Have you considered a Spin class?

ME: No. I couldn't think of anything worse except perhaps a lifetime of gym inductions followed by interval sessions.

SPOTTY YOUTH: In the same way females must consider Zumba you are male and therefore must consider Spin. It has flashing lights and loud techno music and a man shouting at you. It is like the bridge scene from Apocalypse Now but with loud modern music and exercise bikes. You will taste the fear, sweat and mud. Come back and use the gym anytime you like but within the designated hours and not when there are people here who make you feel inadequate you fat fuck.

ME: Cheerio. Thanks for your help. [I will come back when there is nowhere in Glasgow left to exercise... so that'll be November unless it snows heavily in October this year]

SPOTTY YOUTH: No problem. Could you fill out this customer satisfaction survey. It allows us to measure the levels of awareness in all customers especially in these two key areas (1) Customers know less about fitness than us (2) Customers will never ever be as fit as us.





Monday 19 September 2011

Folk Radio UK: File Under Fiction Review

Here's a review of File Under Fiction originally posted by Folk Radio UK. Go to their site for more information and piles of other stuff. 

Folk Radio UK

Findlay Napier and the Bar Room Mountaineers – File Under Fiction

by Neil on 19 September, 2011

 
File Under Fiction is the latest release from Findlay Napier and the Bar Room Mountaineers. Findlay has enjoyed success, along with current collaborators, in Queen Anne’s Revenge and the very highly regarded Back Of The Moon. With File Under Fiction, Findlay and writing partner Nick Turner have delivered a collection of songs full of earthy humour, hopeless love and biting satire.

The opening title track is a poppy discussion of a librarian’s disappointment with her real love life when compared to literary content. There are further shrewed observations of love unfulfilled or unrequited in Cutting Her In Two or even simple table-turning obsession in the foot tapper Cut Me Off. Not everything, though, needs to be what it seems – Don’t Look In My Eyes hides a highland story behind the end of an affair. There are songs for the lonely, whether it’s the loneliness of a solitary Hogmanay, related with a gentle Country style in One For The Ditch, or the frustration, and snowballing disaster, of a lonely Valentine’s Day.

There’s no shortage of commentary on the human condition either, in Spread Thin and the restrained Heels Over Head, Napier and Turner relate droll observations on what makes us tick, while Waiting In The Wings deals with disappointment and missed opportunities in the name of family. In contrast, Raise A Glass tells the story of a man numbing his expectations with the help of a bottle.
In an unexpected gentle close to the proceedings, One For Me, Gillian Frame provides the vocals in a search for Mr Right.

An album can’t rely solely on the quality (or quirkiness) of the songwriting though, the music has to hit the spot too. And it does. Findlay’s naturally accented vocal is delivered with strength, precision and even tenderness when required. As for The Bar Room Mountaineers; Gillian Frame keeps her place in the team with characteristically accomplished fiddle and vocals, switching from melodic folky backing to lively Americana with her usual skill, while Douglas Millar provides staunch keyboard and vocal support. The established crew are joined by Braebach’s James Lindsay on bass Scott MacKay, of Manran, on drums.

Unlike their 2009 release, Out All Night, there’s an absence of tradtional material, and with a collection of songs this strong, There’s no place for it, really. Don’t fall for any ‘Scottish Nu-Folk’ labels attached to this album, this more ‘Michael Marra meets Elvis Costello’ than contemporary tradition. In File Under Fiction Napier and Turner are rightly and shamelessly showcasing their own considerable writing talent. This is not background music. These songs look you square in the eye and give you a quick slap around the sensibilities if you dare stop paying attention.

Sunday 18 September 2011

Half Marathon: End of Week One

Hard to believe but in one week there has actually been some improvement. My GPS hasn't been working so on Wednesday I ended up running the one hour ten minutes I'd planned for today. Today I ran a far harder course and managed to squeeze in an extra point four of a mile.


First Hour and Ten

First Hour and Ten


2nd Sunday Long Run

2nd Sunday Long Run


Surprised to feel my leg muscles really hurting after 50 minutes. I obviously haven't been running hard enough recently for them to get tired. The missing piece of the surfing the single fin came to me yesterday via Angus Lyon. He's got a bet going with the guys in Kilter to do 100 pushups in six weeks using this phone app http://hundredpushups.com/  I'd be happy with 10 pushups at the moment but I guess it's a chance to aim high... 15 maybe.

Wednesday 14 September 2011

Day 2: Jedburgh Half Marathon Training

Out into the eye of the storm. What was I thinking about. At least on the fast run I can get back to the flat and hide in my bed... that was the thinking anyway. Here's what I managed. First time since I started running about four years ago that I've actually felt my eyes pop out my head. Finished the run with a fairly unpleasant 1km 'sprint', which in reality was a crawl, into the wind along the side of the pond at Alexandra Park. 





Monday 12 September 2011

Jedburgh Half Marathon: Training Day 1

The tail end of a Hurricane is not the perfect day to begin training for a half marathon. Sure enough it meant there was less people to watch me dragging my sweaty corpse up the hill at University Avenue around seven last night.



Sunday 7 miler

Sunday 7 miler