Cage Against the Machine

Cage Against the Machine are a group of Indie musicians who intend to knock the wall of bland that is X Factor off the Christmas number one spot. The musicians involved include Imogen Heap, Fyfe Dangerfield, Scroobius Pip, The Kooks and Heaven 17.

In my head I'm thinking not an entirely bad line up considering they already have a couple of number ones between them and have a poet in their midst. But four minutes and thirty three seconds of silence.  To be precise a three movement composition by the American composer John Cage called 4'33" which although commonly perceived as silence is in fact the sound of the environment that the listeners hear when it is performed (or not performed... whatever). Performed by me in the last four minutes and thirty three seconds you would have heard:

First movement my neighbour wandering about whistling badly

Second movement began with my neighbour loudly doing a shit which built to an inevitable to a crecendo with flushing the toilet and slam of bathroom door.

The third movement consisted and someone entering the close slamming the door and stumbling up the close all to the accompaniment of me banging my head against the wall while grinding my teeth together.

Cage Against the Machine or a bunch of 'art-wank'?

It just feels a bit 'arty wank' to me. I'm aware it's for a charity and for some reason that just makes it worse. To me it says "We're going to do fuck all for four minutes thirty-three seconds and you're going to take us to number one. Oh yes and if you don't like it you're a tight fisted art hater."

I totally support their idea of challenging X Factor's dominance of the Christmas Number One but surely between them they could have written, recorded and produced an incredible piece of music that would deserve to get to number one?

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My second point is that to me X Factor represents music acts that don't write songs, don't play their instruments and are manufactured by someone business side of the music business. Which is a bit like Cage Against the Machine who don't play their instruments, don't sing, didn't write their song and were manufactured by someone from the business side of the music business.

I will leave you safe in the knowledge that for the next 4'33" I will be listening to the washing machine and my neighbour shagging what sounds remarkably like a pig. I would honestly prefer to listen to the X Factor winner.